literature

Red Snow

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The chopper's blades whapped at the air loudly as it flew through the skies of Russia. Heavily armed men with machine guns and heavy pistols, scanned the airspace. Ready to shoot them at a moments notice.
A man with thick blond hair and eyes as blue, and bright as that of the sky surrounding them, gripped his gun nervously with one hand, and dug his fingers more tightly into the brown scruff of his German Shepherd. Who was tightly secured to him through corded straps.
The dog lay it's ears flat against the wind and noise from the chopper, his bright brown eyes wide and alert. He had only been in a chopper once before, and still wasn't used to it. But he would bare the uncomfortable height to be with his master.
   Suddenly there came an intercom message on the headset from the pilot. "Enemy air ship! It's an AVA fighter plane! Repeat, an AVA fighter plane!"
  The blond nearly dropped his gun in surprise. He didn't expect to encounter any AVA so soon.
The chopper readied it's missiles. All of a sudden there was a high pitch sound frequency only audible to the German Shepherd, and he barked swiftly, and loudly, as a red beam cut across the chopper.


72 hours earlier.


"So, you've got a bit of experience with firearms, no family, and your from Germany?"
  "Well, no family except the hound here." The blond man, who looked no more than twenty-five, replied as he patted the ruff on the back of a German Shepherd, who, in turn, wagged his tail.
  "Ah. Not seen many in his breed around these days." The military uniformed man said interestedly looking at the dog. "I hear they used to be very good in military use back in the day." He than signed a sheet of paper, and stamped a passport. "Here you are," he said as he handed it to the blond. "Welcome to the Confederate army, mister Johan Ekkehard."
  "Thank you." Johan said, shaking the man's extended hand. He than stowed his passport into his pocket, and walked off calling, "come on Sieghard."
The dog trotted right after his master.
  Looking down at his ticket, Johan and Sieghard made their way over to the terminal. "It says here that the plane's at gate four, in terminal A." Johan said, as he looked up from his ticket to the bright signs flashing all the planes, and gates. Once he spotted his, Johan made his way through the crowds to the check in, where a woman looked over his passport. "Going up to Russia, mister Ekkehard?"
  "Yes. I'm going up there to meet up with the Confederate army." Johan replied.
"It's very good to know we have men willing to fight those Levians." She said, smiling, as she handed him back his stamped passport."Well, I believe in freedom." Johan smiled back, then started down the loading, when the woman called, "dogs are not allowed in the seating area of the plane!"
  "Oh, right." Johan said as he walked back to her, pulling the silver tag face up from Sieghard's collar. "This is his ticket. He's under the care of the military."
  The woman studied the tag, then said, "alright. Have a nice flight, mister Ekkehard."
"Thank you." Johan said, continuing his way out to the plane.
   Once inside he made his way over to his seat. All the other men he passed were military, all from different countries and continents. He also saw a lot of dogs of many different breeds. But most were the manmade super breed called "Cerberus". A very large, five footer dog that had it's senses refined to such a state they could hear a pin drop a hundred miles away, and sniff out a fly that's been gone for over two weeks. The reasons for these super breeds were for the Levians AVA machines. They possessed a great technology that compressed heat into a high density linear beam, that can slice through anything. Releasing the particles into the air, disrupts radio waves, and other machines.
The Levians had declared to become the leaders of the world. America was the first to go under their rule, and the first to respond in military action, as well as the first to fall. Now they threatened the rest of the world, so the nations great leaders gathered, and agreed this to be a joint operation. And so the confederate army was created. The Levians then moved on to Russia, where most of the military's power was coming from. And of now, the war rages on.
    Johan found his seat, and Sieghard sat by him. He may not be one of the super breeds, but he was very reliable. And frankly the military wanted as many hounds as they could get their hands on. Mostly for DNA samples for mass production. They only agreed to let Sieghard come if he agreed to let them have some samples. Although Johan would rather they not touch Sieghard, he couldn't bare to leave him behind.
     "Oi, I'm your neighbor."
Johan looked up as a man with short black hair and a stubble, was putting his bags in the cabinet above his head. He then sat down in the seat next to him, a hand extended to shake in greeting. "My name's Conor Fionn."
  "Johan Ekkehard." Johan returned the greeting, shaking the man's hand. "And this is Sieghard." He motioned to the dog, who wagged his tail in his own greeting.
"Ah, beautiful hound." Conor said, looking Sieghard up and down. "I had a dog me-self. A wolfhound." He put his hand out to Sieghard, who sniffed it curiously, then licked his palm.
   "Sieghard seems to like you." Johan smiled.
"Aye. Indeed." Conor smiled back.
    "Are you going to Russia to fight in the confederate army?" Johan then asked.
"Aye." Conor answered, "I grew up in the hills of Ireland, and when I heard the Lavian people had gained control of powerful weaponry, and had already claimed America, I decided to go fight to protect my home and my country."
  "Even Ireland's coming to fight?" Johan said in somewhat surprise.
"Aye, you didn't think we'd sit idly by and watch the world fight while we didn't lift a finger." Conor said. "And your going there to fight as well?"
  "Yes." Johan nodded, "you see, I was an orphan, and raised myself, so I have no family ties. Except for Sieghard here though." He rubbed the Shepherd's back as he lay his head on Johan's lap. "I decided to get enrolled in the military because there's not much else a nobody like me can really do."
  "But you look no more than twenty, lad. You still have your whole life ahead of you." Conor said, looking him up and down.
  "Twenty-five as a matter of fact. And you don't look so much older than me yourself." Johan countered.
Conor laughed heartily. "Good eye lad, I'm three years older then ye. I guess you and I are going to have to watch our backs so we can witness the rest of our lives!" Conor and Johan then laughed. Conor's laugh was like that of a cheerful man in a bar, and Johan could imagine him sitting at one of the old Irish pubs drinking away at whisky and ale, and eating hearty meals, as cheery fiddles and flutes played in the background.
     As the last of the people boarded the plane, it took to the sky. Leaving Johan's home of Berlin far behind, as it headed for the largest country in the world.
Along the way Conor told Johan tales of Ireland, and stories of when he was a boy. He could describe a landscape so well, Johan felt like he was actually standing out there in the green mountainous hills, scattered with boulders and sheep, and cattle. He could feel the cold wind buffet him, as fall was just around the corner, and smell the scent of fresh green grass, and crisp mountain air. He could see all the many mountain blossoms, and spy the little cottages in the distance, with a small stream of smoke rising out of their chimneys. What a wonderful country it was. Johan didn't think his life even covered that of Conor's. And when he asked him about it, Johan was embarrassed with his storytelling, compared to that of Conor's. But he seemed to get the picture.
   Soon they landed to change planes, and to pick up a few more men. Johan this time, however, did not sit next to Conor Fionn again. Instead he sat by a fierce looking Russian man, who ignored the smaller in comparison German next to him. Johan did see Conor in the seats ahead of him, and he found himself wishing he could hear more about his stories of his homeland. But he had to instead settle for an awkward silence as they flew in the military plane to the Russian base camp where he would start training.
Johan stroked Sieghard's fur, as he thought to himself. He knew as much as any civilian about the enemy he was to be fighting against. But Johan figured there was bound to be things the governments wouldn't want normal people to know about. So as not to cause a widespread panic. He knew the enemy had mechas called AVA. Computer smart machines that possessed great battle skill, and maneuvering. There were even some armor-like robots. Johan had never seen any before, except from movies and such. He wondered what it would be like to pilot one. Then he smiled to himself as he thought if the army had those kinds of things they definitely wouldn't let a rooky such as himself pilot it.
     In a couple more hours they landed at the military boot camp, where Johan and several other men and women would begin training. Johan grabbed his belongings out of the rack above his head-which were quite few: two pairs of clothes, a canteen, his switchblade, and of course his beloved dog.As Johan walked off the plane, Conor walked up to him. "We're comrades from no on." He smiled.
  "I'm glad." Johan smiled back.
Sieghard wagged his tail.
  "And to be honest, no one else seemed as interested in my stories as you, lad." Conor said, slightly embarrassed.
    "That's a load of garbage. Those people wouldn't be able to tell a good story, from a rock." Johan said truthfully.
  "Ha-ha. Many thanks lad." Conor said, patting Johan friendlily on the back.
All the new recruits lined up before a tough looking Russian woman with short, curled in, black hair. She wore the alliance's pale blue-gray uniform, and held a short whip in one hand, which she was tapping against the other.
   "Attention!" She called, and everyone fell silent. She then began walking from one side of the line, to the other. Her sharp brown eyes piercing through each recruit in turn.
     "Now she's a looker." Conor breathed into Johan's ear.
The woman suddenly paused in her inspection. Turned on her feet, and walked directly up to Conor. "Did I give you permission to speak, private Fionn?" She asked in a deadly calm.
    "N-nay ma'am!" Conor stuttered, probably not expecting her hearing to be so good so to hear his whisper.
   "That's lieutenant Susanna Lidochka to you. And I expect in the future you think about your actions before you let them loose." The woman scoffed. Her gaze then fell on Sieghard beside Johan. "What is this dog doing here?" She asked Johan, her eyes steely.
   "He was recruited with me." Johan answered in attention. "He's going to be a listener, for ah, AVA, Lt. Lidochka. Ma'am."
"Was he now?" Lidochka looked Sieghard over. "Do you have the tags?"
   "Oh, ah, yes." Johan pulled the tags confirming Sieghard's allowance. "Right here ma'am."
"Very good." She said, then to all the people gathered. "You will all undergo training immediately. Don't expect to have the rest of the day off just because you have a little jet lag. In war you will have close to no time for training. You must know I run a very strict base here. Welcome to hell." The way she said "hell" was cold and whispery. And she directed those last words to Conor's face. But he didn't seem all that fazed. "Now follow me to get your uniforms and identification tags made out." Lt. Lidochka said as she turned and lead the new recruits into one of the bigger buildings in the base.
    Conor fell in step with Johan, and rubbing Sieghard's back he said, "what did I tell you lad. She's gorgeous right?"
   "You're a real piece of work." Johan said stiffly.
"What? Don't tell me she scared you lad." Conor grinned.
    "Your going to get me in trouble with that "happy-go-lucky" attitude." Johan emphasized.
"Ah, I knew it. Don't worry lad," Conor wrapped his arm around Johan's neck, pulling him in towards him, causing Johan to stumble. "I'll protect you from the lieutenant."
   "I'm not scared of her-ah! Conor, let go!" Johan complained as his feet stumbled after his captured head.
"What's that? I can't hear you over my happy-go-lucky attitude!" Conor exaggerated.
  "I didn't mean it like that-come on!"
Sieghard barked excitedly, and started jumping around the two, as they entered the building.
So here is the first bit of my new story, Red Snow, I know it's a bit rocky-mostly because I don't know that much about war, and the military.
But it this was just dying to get on paper so I had to write it.

The story is basically a world war against a made up nation of advanced civilization, Levia, (and I may end up changing that name) :P Who want to take over the world because they think their more better suited for the world then everyone else.
The main character's is a German solider, and his beloved German Shepherd.
This story is meant to be a tragic war story, with touches of people and cultures from all over the world, even though it mostly takes place in Russia. I just love to find all the different names. :)

But anyway, I hope you like it, and feel free to critique, I'm all for it with this story. :aww:

Next: [link]

Red Snow © :iconfruitbatslyra:
Comments6
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McNish95's avatar
I really like the storyline - it's orginal and you set the scene really well. :)

I do think, though, that you might need to add a bit more description, just with things like the scenery and what the men & the dog look like - eye colour, height, skin colour, is the dog's hair soft or rough... ect

I absolutely love the way you've set up the relationship between Johan, his dog and Conor - I really felt part of the banter at the end :)

Unfortunately, I do have a couple of points ( :( ) - you've confused the 'there' and 'their' a couple of times and also 'then' and 'than', with a few too many of the latter added in some places. You could also look into replacing some of the comma's with semi-colons in a few places, just to add a bit of variety.

Also, double spacing might be easier to read; I wrote without using it before, and then someone recommended it to me and it's now a lot easier to see where the breaks in the paragraphs are. Just a suggestion.

If you don't entirely understand what I'm talking about, or you want me to explain in more detail, then note me and I'll reply asap :)

Sorry for the long comment. I really like your style and the storyline. Keep up the amazing story - I'll look out for it :D

McNish95